Healing from trauma
Divorce, illness, abuse…….these very real and prolific experiences can leave one hollow, angry, depressed, anxious, uncertain, lost, to name a few. More and more people experience a trauma/life changing experience either first hand or through a loved one.
The impact can be shattering, not only for the person experiencing it but also those persons loved ones, family and friends. With more and more people experiencing such inflictions, I feel there is such a need for help, reassurance and guidance in these times. Not only at a the time of the trauma, but as on-going support, for the ‘victim’ and their support (family).
I myself have gone through many such times. I chose to leave my husband after 22 years together. I still love him, but I knew with every fibre of my being I had to break away to ‘find myself’, to honour my souls purpose and reason for being. I felt small and felt like my light was being dimmed, being with him. These words may come out clumsy, but I don’t know how else to express it. It was my choice, and the hardest choice I have ever made in my life. It didn’t make it easier for me as the one making the decision, it was gut- wrenching and so hard. But it was something I knew I had to do. A year and half now down the line, I still feel the repercussions of my actions and decisions and I realize this will take time to heal.
I was raped nearly a year ago this month. Drugged and raped by three men. I am one of the many rape victims that after a few weeks of the rape, started getting flashbacks and memories, of the horrific 10 hour drugged state. I don’t know what is worse, to not remember, or to get these shattering memories again and again, to be played in my head like a sick movie on repeat, torturing my very soul.
My point in sharing my experiences in the last 1.5 years, is to share that I know first-hand that trauma like these don’t heal quickly and change you on every level. Because of this I have shifted my focus in my work as a coach, healer and counsellor, to offer help and support to those who have and are going through some life crises. Most support facilitators offer only a short term strategy for healing in counselling and guidance. But as I said, trauma from disease, illness, relationships and abuse, more often than not, take a long time to heal. I know this as I am far from healed
On a brighter side, I can say I am only now really discovering who I am because of the traumas, as these experiences have stripped away the bull and pretense from who I was, and I want and need to SEE and KNOW how things really are. I don’t believe anything just because I read it, or heard about or studied, I need to know the truth for me. What resonates, I keep, what doesn’t, I discard. I can say honestly so much of the ‘New Age’ spiritual talk and teachings which I have immersed myself for the last decade, I have discarded as they don’t resonate with me at all.
We all have choice. Bottom line. In what we believe and what we take on as ‘truths’. I am finding myself through this process and find I am able to like, and start to love myself for the first time in my life, because I am honouring ME, and my choices.